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where are they now: da cheese 20 years on...
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Stobbs: always popular with da kids (especially 14yr old girls; the pervert!)
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STOBBS: life after cheesegrater has been eventful for the former lead crooner. He found initial success as a childrens tv presenter on the 'Alan Davies childrens channel'. This lead to a host of affairs with other huge celebrities such as former president gail porter, that really fat woman who was in emmerdale & then presented 'you've been framed', archbishop Brian Molko (he may have been on drugs by this time) and finally 'miss fat america 2052' kate moss.
However, success was not to last as his show became stale. As ratings plummeted, stobbs took it on himself to win back da kids. His educational features such as 're-activating handguns in 1-2-3! simple steps' and 'next stop clitland!' caused moral outrage amongst the over-150s. The show was quickly cancelled.
After this, stobbs turned to religion.
Unfortunately he was caught robbing st pauls cathedral, and spent 2 months in jail where he was to meet the man who would change his life.
Stobbs and Bin Laden hit it off instantly, and after being released they set up their very own cult: the shoobydoos, who hail homer simpson as a god and regard sheep-dipping on tuesdays whilst wearing a basque as a mortal sin. one-year membership costs from 600000 euros.
Media speculation about his relationship with Sir Osama Bin Laden aside, stobbs seems happy with post-cheesegrater life. He currently has no children, but does own the bottom half of michael jacksons skeleton (for reasons unthinkable) and is being investigated by inland revenue. overall then, his life aint bloody bad.
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Bloody fat cats!
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BAILS: as the picture shows, life is grand for the former guitar player. Leaving the music scene behind, he embraced his left-wing views and became..... an anarcho MD of Shell oil!
When not working to kill the planet, Bails enjoys swimming in his private swimming pool filled with the actual blood of working class people (see pic), and shooting endangered species such as cows, dinosaurs, the welsh etc.
His bid to become dictator of the world in the international election of 2044 was ruined by scandal. It seems a former friend sold a photo of him to the media.
Overnight, the world became horribly familar with the sight of a fat 3-nippled man doing things with a monopoly board that provoked a single response: Go to jail!
(in this time, monopoly boards are self-aware, furry, and protected by the RSPCA)
However, Bails escaped the prospect of jail after the entire jury and witnesses mysteriously vanished. It was also around this time that his best friend Freddy 'hitman' whinton finally found enough money to buy the mansion next to Bails.
So, Bails has really made a name for himself since giving up the punk life. Now if only he could beat his addiction to iguana liver......
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Still as sexy as ever!
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MAXINE: her obvious talents (well, the ability to pose onstage) couldnt be hidden from the world forever and Maxine became an international superstar after da cheese split up. Her 12th album in 3 months has now outsold the previous record breaker "just, like, buy this crap you fucking sheep!" by slikchik (daughter of Britney spears and Marilyn manson).
A true diva, Maxine only does interviews in Mexico, for not less than two grand per minute. Her backstage requests include 3 camels, 7 midgets, 12 bottles of jack daniels, an imported crate of paperchain own-brand heroin and Mariah Carey (to use as a 'human' dartboard, obviously).
Oh, did i mention who this sexy, rich goddess is married to? .........A certain handsome guy by the name of mr_spock4546!
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THE DRUMMER: a bit of a mystery, as he went into hiding several years ago after accusations that he said something naughty about George Bush III. New anti-terrorist measures make this an offence punishable by death (unfortunately, all laws are now made in texas). The electric chair also awaits those who look at somebody else funny, are gay, or don't play the banjo.
It is believed that the former drummer lives somewhere in the french rainforest, has seven wives, a playstation 16 and a 'best pop of the 1980s cd'. This may sound like few posessions, but is actually a very high standard of living for france since the economy collapsed due to a shortage of garlic, snails, stripey tops and other cliches.
The bearded smelly one has a real cult following amongst physics students from Luton due to his revolutionary views on social reform and whether or not to leave the toilet seat down.
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no comment
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GROG: Ah come on, its not that surprising really..........
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